The Gas Man Cometh

The famous Flanders and Swann song starts

"Twas on a Monday morning the gas man came to call.

The gas tap wouldn't turn - I wasn't getting gas at all."

If I am permitted some poetic licence to change the second line to "The gas tap would turn but I wasn't getting gas at all" it gives me a perfect link to our weekend trials and tribulations in relation to what should be a very simple challenge. Getting gas to the house.

On Sunday morning – unannounced and with no fanfare, our Corgi plumber arrived to so some work. He took a risk as there is never usually anybody around on Sunday but fortunately the builder was there and so he could get on. Everything was connected and the time came to switch the gas on and fire up the system. On went the tap and out didn't come the gas!

I got a telephone call saying "could I telephone British Gas and get them to reconnect the supply". Obviously they don't answer the telephone on Sundays so at 8:00am this morning I got through to be told that I would have to phone the emergency number that you would usually use for a gas leak.

I did that and in fairness they came out pretty quickly and diagnosed the fault. It appears that that when the gas main was relied a few month ago they sort of ……...... forgot our house and didn't put a connection to it. This is despite the fact that the house has a gas meter, an account an account number and so on. It did make me wonder quite what our Corgi guy was up to three months ago when he came round to cap the gas! You might have thought he would have noticed that nothing was coming out.

At the point of writing this we are now waiting for someone to come round and re-connect us. I have no idea what that will entail.

All of this reminded me of the classic Flanders and Swann song mentioned above.

If you have never head the song before the words are listed below and a really funny lego animation is on You Tube here.

The Gas Man Cometh – Flanders and Swann

'Twas on a Monday morning the gas man came to call.

The gas tap wouldn't turn - I wasn't getting gas at all.

He tore out all the skirting boards to try and find the main

And I had to call a carpenter to put them back again.

Oh, it all makes work for the working man to do.

'Twas on a Tuesday morning the carpenter came round.

He hammered and he chiselled and he said:

"Look what I've found: your joists are full of dry rot

But I'll put them all to rights".

Then he nailed right through a cable and out went all the lights!

Oh, it all makes work for the working man to do.

'Twas on a Wednesday morning the electrician came.

He called me Mr. Sanderson, which isn't quite the name.

He couldn't reach the fuse box without standing on the bin

And his foot went through a window so I called the glazier in.

Oh, it all makes work for the working man to do.

'Twas on a Thursday morning the glazier came round

With his blow torch and his putty and his merry glazier's song.

He put another pane in - it took no time at all

But I had to get a painter in to come and paint the wall.

Oh, it all makes work for the working man to do.

'Twas on a Friday morning the painter made a start.

With undercoats and overcoats he painted every part:

Every nook and every cranny - but I found when he was gone

He'd painted over the gas tap and I couldn't turn it on!

Oh, it all makes work for the working man to do.

On Saturday and Sunday they do no work at all;

So 'twas on a Monday morning that the gasman came to call...

The Mythical Boiler and other Pictures

Here is the proof I promised from my earlier posts and comments that the boiler has finally been installed although not yet commissioned. In fairness the pipework looks pretty good.

This picture shows some of the work being done on the stairs. They were just supposed to replace some of the treads but subsequently decided to cover the stairs with a new MDF cover. This is a brilliant idea as it makes all the treads even (which they weren't before) and means that we don't have to spend ages trying to fashion wood to replace what was already there. This picture doesn't really show how good the lower, completed stairs look.

They still seem to think they will be done bar the shouting by Friday 30th. I think it will be very tight but they are working over the weekend to get it done.

Corgi Update

Our Corgi plumber from last week has still not started. He apparently made an appearance briefly on Friday to tell everyone he will round to start work on Monday.

I am not sure he was that convincing and I won't be holding my breath. Builders will never get rid of this poor (and in most cases undeserved) reputation while some individuals continue to think this sort of behaviour is acceptable.

Hopefully he doesn't read this blog or he won't be round at all!

This Week

There is much happening this week and whilst we won't be finished by Friday, as the project clock suggests, we should be much closer to knowing how close to completing by the end of the month we will be.

Without trying to put the kibosh on things, by the end of the week we should have a bathroom installed (although not working), a boiler installed and commissioned, a kitchen delivered, tiling completed in the bathroom, all plastering finished throughout (except the kitchen), the under stairs cupboard finished, the garden clearance completed, the cracked brickwork repaired (subject to weather) and a start on the downstairs decorating.

I probably shouldn't have said all of that. They will probably all walk off site now.

Boiler Update or Boiler Re-Visited

OK. After a bit more research it appears that I will need a combi boiler rated between 24Kw and 30Kw.

If you are all sitting comfortably at the back I will try and explain why size matters.

One of the key differences between the two is that the higher rated units have a higher water flow which is measured in litres per minute. This is the number of litres of water per minute that the boiler can heat to 35 degrees centigrade (I didn’t decide on this temperature, presumably some industry body did). Most boilers are rated between 9 and 12 litres per minute.

This does not make as much difference when you are trying to heat the house, a lower rated unit will just take longer, but clearly matters a lot if you are trying to run lots of things requiring hot water at the same time like a washing machine, a dishwasher, a shower and a bath. Many units such as washing machines can work solely on a cold feed these days so they don’t necessary have any impact on the boiler at all.

Buying a unit that is bigger than you need is a waste of money to buy and to run but getting one too small is a big mistake. To try and work out which size I need I e-mailed a boiler company, a specialist supplier and filled in one questionnaire on the internet and described the basic layout of the house. The only constant in their replies was the lack of consistency. Basically it appears that either will do the job.

There is no end to the number of companies out there offering boilers over the internet at what seem to me to be competitive prices. One of them even trades via eBay (at very competitve prices) as well as through some specialist outlets in Kent.

The problem with boilers is that for amateurs like me I have never heard of most manufacturers. I have never driven cars from most of the manufacturers in the world but I have probably heard of them and may even have an opinion about their quality. It is the same with consumer electronics. With boilers, apart from Glow-Worm and Potterton, I don’t think I have heard of any of them and most people don’t bother to write reviews about what a great boiler they have just bought. Understandable really; they will have better things to do with their lives.

Anyway to get to the point a new boiler will cost somewhere between £500 and £750 pounds. I will probably get a 30Kw unit to be sure. Now all I have to decide is which of these manufacturers that I have never heard of is the right one. Alpha, Ariston, Baxi, Buderus, Chaffoteaux, Ferroli, Glow-Worm, Ideal, Keston, Potterton, Vaillant, Viessmann, Vokera and Worcester with apologies for any I have missed.

UPDATE : Thank you to Tim who has clarified the point about temperature in his comment on the earlier post.